"Oh, yeah I'm going to- wait..... I'M GOING TO ENGLAND?!"

Many people have the misconception that denial is a negative thing that only happens when you don't want to believe bad news and such. Well, they're wrong. :P

I don't know how many times I have told people about my upcoming tour to England, but it's become second nature to me. Same old story ect. Until yesterday, (16th) when BCC sent an email outlining our itinerary and packing list. I freaked out. Though I'm sure some of it was fueled by my moms birthday cake that I had consumed two pieces of, it was mostly stemmed from the fact that I'm going to England FINALLY sank in. I'm going to be on my own for two weeks, I'm going on a plane for the first time, I'm going to be on my own for two weeks (Yes, I said that twice on purpose. :P), and I'm going to be with people that are still kind of unfamiliar to me. It's all new and exciting, and......I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it all. I remember my first MLK (Martin Luther King Jr. Concert. Nationally televised. We call it MLK.) and it was completly overwhelming. Part of that was because I was going through so much at the time but I'm still going through a lot. I rememeber just going into the bathroom one time before the concert at Jordan Hall and just crying. Not because I was sad, really, just because I was stressed and being too hard on myself. MLK really was a lot of work though, I'm not saying tour won't be, but I'm going to look at it as more of a vacation. Especially since I have to take care of my mom so much nowadays. I'm going to learn all of my music before tour starts and just have fun and completly forget about everything. When we went on our mini tour to Vermont one of my roomies started lecturing us about tour saying "DO NOT be late and DO NOT get caught up in the drama because TK will hate you for the rest of the tour and it will not be pleasant." I was kind of worried because I have a habit of attracting drama (Haha, what an understatment.) but then I realized, so what? If everything goes wrong I'm still going to enjoy this trip. No matter what. I'm not going to be afraid and I'm going to be confident. The worst part? Everything good is easier said than done.

Lesson of the day: Eating cake and letting loose screaming around the house is good once in a while. The crash afterwords? BAD. XP

Happy Birthday, mom. :)

lOVe,
Molly